The Discourse on Fear

Chapter Three of the Gospel According to Krem

(1) At the birth of the year, Isvaz spoke again and neighbors crowded into the weaving rooms or stood at the door to hear him. (2)  For a moment he paused in the knot work but he resumed, saying:

(3) Abide in the Light and do not fear.

(4) Fear of lacking makes us greedy.

(5) Fear of opinion makes us proud.

(6) Fear of silence makes us noisy.

(7) Fear of injury makes us defensive.

(8) Fear that we might not prevail makes us quarrelsome and violent.

(9) Fear of trying makes us idle and fruitless.

(10) Fear of emptiness generates unhealthy desire.

(11) Fear of status makes us envious.

(12) Fear of the unknown makes us timid.

(13) Fear of discovery leads to falsehoods.

(14) Fear of hunger makes us gluttonous.

(15) Fear of weakness makes us bullies.

(16) Fear of chance makes us eager to control what we cannot.

(17) Fear eats at the soul as illness eats at the body.

(18) Fear teaches us to clutch what we cannot keep.

(19) Fear teaches us to flee from imagined threats.

(20) Fear blinds us to the truth.

(21) Fear imprisons us with chains of our own making.

(22) Let us not fear, for the Light shines upon us.

(23) Let us not fear, for Tivonu does not forget us.

(24) Let us not fear, for it accomplishes nothing.

(25) Abide in the Light and do not fear.

(26) With these words the Blessed One again fell silent and those who heard marveled. (27) Some trembled at the naming of their secret fears but most rejoiced at the call to forsake fear and wished to hear more.

The Gospel According to Krem, first of the Gospels of the Mithron Church, 41 CE, written by St Krem the Apostle and Evangelist in Pegda of Keltar.

© 2016 Paul E. Strid, all rights reserved.

Learning about oneself through fiction

I know that all of my fictional characters express fragments of myself.  It is fascinating, after writing a particular passage or pehaps some fifty pages, to look back and experience the "aha" moment.  There it is for all the world to read: some aspect of who I am, or wish I were, or wish I weren't.  With some characters it is more obvious than with others.

Bill and I have talked about parallels between myself and Ian Dyrnedon, protagonist of books 1, 2, and 4.  He usually sees these things before I do.  Last Friday, as we were chatting over pizza, I was rambling on about Vladje the wolf.  I made mention of Ian's death at the end of book 4 and suddenly choked up.

That happens a lot when I am planning scenes, writing them, or talking about them.  I get about a two-second warning and suddenly I can hardly speak.  Anything that strikes this deep suggests something going on in my guts.

We chatted briefly about some of the obvious elements such as my views on death and afterlife and dogs in heaven and Kazan being at the gate to greet me. (Forget Saint Peter, Kazan's the one who counts in my universe.)  Vladje, whom I see very much in terms of my beloved dog, and Ian's death could easily trigger emotions.

But there is more.  Who is Ian for me?

Grevedan Matthew Deveril, my nom de plume and the fictive redactor of the chronicles and descendant of Ian Dyrnedon, is my alter ego.  He has some nice traits that I lack but Grev is undoubtedly me: who I am.  He is an avid student of languages, literature, and history.  He's religious.  He's gay.  He is fascinated by both worlds that he lives in.  He is sarcastic and self-doubting, and very human.  He's a storyteller.  As I said, Grev is who I am on most obvious levels.

Ian is who I want to be.  Ian is viewed across centuries as a hero who saved peoples from a dark force, as a saint who helped the church spread in Midhris, as someone of great emotional connectedness and compassion, and - perhaps most difficult and praiseworthy of all - as a good husband and father.  Pure hero all the way, time having blurred his flaws.

Don't we all want to be heroes?  The one who discovers a cure for cancer, rescues a personal or animal in distress, gets the gold, turns back the mob, saves the town, invents something wonderful, makes the speech that inspires a nation, lands on the moon....

Nothing terribly profound in this. I am just noting that Grev is the bright lippy guy I am, a decent guy who preserves important memories.  Ian is the hero I'd like to be, viewed through all the distortions of rose-colored glasses and the elevation of epic poetry.  Major moments in his life touch me deeply as they capture something of deep yearning within myself.  I want to be this guy.  By 835 he is, literally, canonized as St Ian, the Old Believer.  Yet he remains distant, an idealized human being.

Oh yes, Grev is a potty mouth too.  As I wrote above: who I am.

This writing project, proceeding in fits and starts, is a fascinating journey.

--GMD

Ulgi of Paç on war

 Ulgi, second child of the ruler of Paç, chats about war with Baron Tilar of Edanat:

Ah. Well, I live on the trade route that runs down the Ulava to the Mere. Bjupazh is on the other side of the river. In my corner of the world we believe that prosperous neighbors make for good trade and we all thrive together. Unstable neighbors make trade routes uncertain and dangerous. Warring neighbors are only good for armorers but not for ordinary folk. They threaten to embroil us all in death and disaster, slaughtered people, stolen cattle, burned villages, salted fields, and disease at every turn.

Civil war reenactment

No, not the USA in the 19th century; Fjorn in the 8th century.

With forces scattered all over I have to review, again and again, which troops are where and when.  If they had milk cartons back then they would have been plastered with photos asking, "Have you seen this person?"  Right now I am reviewing chapters 50-80 to see where in time time I have left The Little Princess while creating a fresh chapter list with times and events summarized.  An index to the huge spreadsheet, so to speak.

Once that is accomplished I can return to the latest assassination attempt on The Princess, aunt of The Little Princess.  By now, of course, The Old Princess is dead.  Are you confused yet?  Wait until you meet my cast of characters.

There is a reason I list indices of persons and places at the end of my books.

I just came across this comment by Vjendar and was reminded that I rather like it.

I promised Volume Three in 2013.  Pretty sure that deadline can be met.  I'd love to get it out before this year ends but we shall see.  Lots of territory still to cover.  Meanwhile, new readers of the tales have the first thousand pages in Volumes One and Two to get through.

--GMD

Volume Two Published

It will take a while to show up on Amazon but Volume Two, The Light Bearers, has been uploaded for sale in both paperback and Kindle versions.

Paperback ISBN: 978-1477640487

Available from the CreateSpace e-store now.  If using Amazon, be sure to use the widgets at OCICBW (right sidebar).

And so, dear friends, if I left you hanging at the end of Volume One, here is the rest of the story of Darkslayer's great adventure.

The rest of his life is recounted in Volume Four.

Well, there is rejoicing at Desert Farne, anyway. lol

--GMD

Getting unstuck

While I do not think this will be the final cover for the third volume, it is motivational for me.

For several years I have been stuck in recounting the Fjorn Civil War.  It is not easy to have armies scattered all over a principality and keep track of who is where when.  Even with huge spreadsheets and maps.

As with all The Chronicles of Mídhris, I already know where the story goes.  This series has lived in my head for a few months short of four decades now.  But the journey is the thing.  I may know how the story ends before I begin writing but what I don't know, and love to discover, is how my characters get there.

Knowing that volume two should be available in a week gives me a huge push to complete volume three.  I doubt it will be available any sooner than 2013.  But I would love to know it WILL be out in 2013.

--GMD

Hrapto of Uvna: Hostage and Champion

When I was in the early chapters of The Lion Throne (volume three), I had no idea that Hrapto of Uvna would prove to be an important character. I became very fond of him and he helps turn the course of the war and the entire story.

 Hrapto's arms would be differenced, of course, with flaunches for the third child (in Mithron heraldry).

The following is not part of the story proper:

The Lament for Hrapto

Hjelgi's sheep gathered that first day,
White puffs over the Heart of Fjorn,
But Dorgal's tears did not fall.
The second day their fleece was darker
And Mount Uvjor could no longer be seen
Yet still no rain came to bless the earth
As Ilga's cries echoed from the stone walls.
This was supposed to be the easy birth,
The third child, not the first,
But he did not come forth,
Reluctant to exit his mother's womb.
Not until the third day
When the rains came at last,
Giving drink to the thirsty land,
And Ilga's laments were turned to joy
Was a boy child born to Borgar the noble
And Ilga the Fair, his worthy wife.
Mi_ta and Vigwen smiled to see him
This handsome baby, their brother.
Hrapto they named him, after his grandsires.

--GMD

Darkslayer: Part Two - The Light Bearers - was uploaded last night and I have ordered the proof copy.  I should have it by next Tuesday and I hope it is for sale by the end of next week.

Now the pressure is on to finish Volume Three of The Chronicles of Mídhris.  Tonight, however, my brain is fried and my body is not far behind.

--GMD

Rachje be praised!

The proofing of volume two is complete.  I need to add the front material and maps, format, and upload.

A bit driven this weekend as it is now past midnight and I go to work ere long.  But done.  Including the indices as in volume one, the first two chapters of book three, and an author's photo.

I have reached the point in the final proofing of the second book where, if you will, Ian joins Adam and Eve and realizes that he is naked.  That is to say: he becomes aware that he is not innocent and shares in the world's ills.

On Pentecost Sunday 2007 I was in a high state of emotional vulnerability.  As was the case this year, Pentecost fell on the same weekend that Memorial Day was observed.  I am exceedingly tenderhearted toward those who serve in the military (in sharp contrast to how I feel about war profiteers and those who start wars).  Driving to church that morning I was deeply moved by the beauty of music playing on the radio.  And when it came to me that the chapter I am proofing tonight had to happen I was reduced to sobbing.  I remember stopping at Coors and St Joseph by Pius X school and weeping profusely.  I was rather a wreck during Mass that morning too.

Tonight I can read the chapter calmly.  But I find myself pausing to consider it, to share this, to offer the graphic above.

I hope to publish volume two by the end of next week (for sale a week after).

--GMD

The second half of Darkslayer is full of romance

Desh, the Raven, is the goddess of love. As our band of heroes sail toward the Holy Isle of Vios it is said of two besotted star singers that "Desh flew between their eyes." It is fun to coin phrases based on another culture's mythology, maybe especially a mythology of my own creation. We all know the look when the Raven flies between the eyes of people in love.

--GMD

Paperback available on Amazon

I just checked and the paperback edition is available at Amazon.

Join Ian, Vladje, and the gang in an adventure that spans the Northern lands.

--GMD

Cover for the next book is designed

The big question is how long should I make the avid fans wait for the second half?

It has not had the third revision and final proofing yet, so it won't happen immediately in any case.  But the third book is still off in 2013 no matter what.

--GMD

A review

Feedback from someone who just finished reading The Demon Chasers on Kindle.‎

Marguerite posted to Facebook: *Really* good book of the can't put down type.  Paul Strid, I hope the sequel is coming soon!

Thank you so much, Marguerite!

--DMG

ISBN

Available in paperback!

It will be 5-7 days before this shows up on Amazon.  It is available immediately from CreateSpace.  The price is $19.99 USD.  It is a hefty book, 6"x9" with over 500 pages of text.

The proof copy arrived today and I just went through it.  The maps came through nicely.

Enjoy, my friends!

--GMD

The Lion Throne is volume three of the Chronicles.  I had no idea that story was even in there when the first tale was written.  I thought there might be an episode in the third book and it became the entire third book.  It may be one of the hardest to write (I have been at it for several years) because it recounts a civil war and when you have armies marching in several locales at once it is easy to lose the threads of the story.  You would not believe all the spreadsheets and maps I use to keep track of it all.

Of course, once the first book is published the pressure is on to keep the next ones coming.  So, after a hiatus of three months, I got back to The Lion Throne and wrote a scene that has been hovering out there for a long time.

Primnel yielded to her curiosity and asked, “Did you have a love, my lady?” Embarrassed, she continued. “I mean, well, I am too young to know love and you sing so movingly. I’m sorry. It does not concern me. Please forgive me.”

A faint smile at last came to Vremja’s lips though her eyes were still sad.

“Yes, Primni.” 

The arms of the Barony of Dwar.  Vremja inherited the title when her father was killed in a slaughter that resulted from miscommunication. The Dwari are famous for their musical ability, symbolized in the three golden harps in chief.

Primnel is a precocious ten-year-old whose father is away, vying for the throne.

As announced earlier, I hope to have The Lion Throne published in 2013.  I still have about one third of it to write.

--GMD

Publication draws nearer!

I just ordered the paperback proof copy and it should be in my hands by next Wednesday evening.  If all goes well eager readers should be able to order The Demon Chasers in paperback ere long.

--DMG

Almost there

The book and cover are uploaded and being reviewed by the publishing arm. The price will be $19.99 for a 6x9 inch paperback of over 500 pages. Distribution will include libraries and European sales.

--GMD

Progress toward paperback

I've been working on getting the paperback version on Create Space (another Amazon affiliate).  The text is formatted (it took several attempts and several files were corrupted along the way).  The graphics (mostly maps) did not have high enough resolution so I am going through several steps to resave them at 300dpi.  Hope to have the interior of the book uploaded tonight.  Once the cover is ready, we can publish.  Will keep you posted.